The Toxie Diaries: BPA
Hey everyone! Have you heard the big news? Soooo excited. I've been nominated and will be appearing at The Toxies this year! Soooo pumped. Y'all should come to the awards on June 16 to see me in all my plasticky glory. RSVP here.
So what if it's for the "Least Sexy Performance" award? I know I'm hot. No one wants to give me love right now, since I'm all "toxic."
I wasn't too sure if I'd get recognized this year, what with the increasing number of states banning me in baby products, but it turns out I'm in soooo many other things. Like, did you know I'm in aluminum cans? I line the insides of canned vegetables, fruits and soups. Yup, you'll be getting a dose of homestyle BPA with those green beans.
I was also glad people scoffed at Maine Governor Paul LePage's statement on me. Can you believe what he said? "[T]he worst case is some women may have little beards.” Beards. Really? How can he not know about the nasty health effects I'm linked to? How about those links to breast and prostate cancer? Or diabetes? Heart disease? Miscarriage? Do your research, people! It's all over the news. He's just trying to steal my thunder! Soooo annoying.
They call me an "Endocrine Disrupter," which totally sounds like some kind of awesome monster truck or something. Soooo awesome.
OMG you guys, The Toxies are gonna be off the hoooooook!! Hope you all can make it. I'm gonna be all, "BPA is money! Seriously, I'm all over paper currency!" Oh that's hilarious, I'm gonna write that down.
Well, I should head out. I have a full day of causing hormone disruption, and contributing to reproductive disorders and breast cancer. Oh, before I go, I made this video after I found out about my nomination. Check it out!!
Yeah, I'm totally going to win, and I deserve it! See you at the Toxies on June 16!